“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).
This verse always makes me laugh. Look, relationships are hard. And, great relationships are really, really hard! But they are worth it.
Paul recognizes that a good and healthy relationship requires the work of both parties. One cannot have a good and healthy relationship with someone who refuses to act and behave in good and healthy ways. Both parties have to agree to work toward health, and it is hard work. Healthy relationships do not just happen. They have to be worked at.
So, here’s a way to know if you are with someone who is valuing your relationship enough to work at it – A disagreement with a unhealthy, toxic person will turn into an argument that becomes a bigger problem. A disagreement with a healthy, good person will turn into a conversation that leads to a solution.
Know the difference. With the unhealthy, toxic person, no matter what you do in the relationship, it will remain combative and unhealthy. With someone who is healthy, they will work with you through the difficulties of misunderstanding toward health and peace.
So, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” However, when the other party continues their toxic and unhealthy behavior…let them be. Move on. Pray for them. Love them from a distance. You are not responsible for fixing their toxicity.
Relationships are hard. Great relationships are really, really hard. Build relationships with people who value you enough to work at it together.
Praxis: Faith in Action 