Thankful and Tired

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever” (Psalm 107:1).

Don’t get me wrong.

I do give thanks. I am thankful that my family is healthy and doing well.

  • I thank God that the people of the Little Church are doing well and staying healthy. Yes, we always have people who are going through medical issues, but over all, we are still doing well.
  • I thank God for the staff, elders, deacons, volunteers and all those at the Little Church and Lakewoodgrace who make our church such an amazing community.

I do give thanks, for the Lord is good. His love indeed endures forever.

But…

This has been a really long, difficult, and challenging year.

  • The social distancing is wearing on me.
  • The inability to see our members is wearing on me.
  • Not getting together with my friends and extended family members is exhausting.
  • I don’t like it that we are no longer able to travel as we once did.
  • I am not sure if I would have started my doctoral work had I known most of it would have been online learning instead of in person learning.

This year has been long. This year has been challenging.

As I was praying this morning, it felt like I was being ungrateful to God. But that’s not it. I am thankful for all that. And I am still tired and weary because of 2020.

I used to think that if you were grateful, you wouldn’t be tired, weary, and stressed. But I no longer think that. I now know you can be grateful for God’s protection and goodness AND you can be tired and weary. It’s perfectly normal. 2020 has been a hard year. It would be ludicrous to pretend 2020 has been a fun, great, exciting year.

It is perfectly possible to lose a loved one and hurt like crazy and still be thankful. And I think God’s okay with that.

God’s okay with the fact that a lot of his children are not okay with how 2020 is going. Our weariness doesn’t negate our gratitude. Because it is absolutely true that God is still good. And, there is nothing 2020 can take away from how much God loves us and is for us.

So, friends, it’s okay not to be okay. Just don’t forget about God’s goodness.

We can be both thankful AND weary.

God’s big enough for that. And, what’s more, God already knows that we’re weary and tired.

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”

There is nothing 2020 can do to change that reality.

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