There are a whole lot of “why”s in life.

• Why do I have diabetes, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, hypertension, and chronic heart disease?
• Why did a 8 year-old girl drown at a YMCA pool? And of all people for this to happen to, why this girl’s parents who buried their 16 month-old just four years ago to cancer? One child dying is brutal enough. But this? Why?
• Why did a young man in Austin kill strangers with homemade bombs before blowing himself up?

Why?

There are a whole lot of “why”s in life that we will never understand. They are unknowable. They are beyond our ability and scope of understanding.

When it comes to sciences and research, “why” is a helpful question. It is this curiosity and yearning for understanding that leads to scientific discovery and greater understanding.

But when it comes to life, “why” is totally frustrating and unhelpful.

When it comes to life, here are some better questions to ask:

• Do you trust that God wants only what is best for you?
• Do you trust that God knows what is best for you, even better than you?
• Do you trust that God loves you?

If you answer those questions in the affirmative, then it really does not matter what particular events happen in our lives, because God is in control and God wants what is best for us.

This is faith. This is trust. And, most importantly, this is peace.

The Roto Rooter and stenting heart procedure is scheduled for Monday, March 26 at the University of Washington Medical Center.

This will be my 3rd heart procedure in 8 weeks.

I’ve had close to a dozen heart procedures, open heart quadruple bypass, and multiple stents, but this is a record for me. I’ve never had so many heart procedures in such a short time.

I have heart disease. My body is healthy but my body continues to produce plaque that keeps clogging arteries. As a result, I had two heart attacks before I turned 38.

Here’s why I tell you all this: I should be dead. The only reason why I am still here is by the grace of God.

I journal every day and every single journal entry starts with “God, thank you for this day.” I start my journal this way because every day is another day I don’t deserve. Had I been born ten years sooner, I would be dead. It is because today’s doctors can do the types of procedures and surgeries they regularly do on me, and because of the advancement in medicines that I am still around.

But most importantly, it’s because of God’s grace.

That I am still around can only mean one thing: there are still things God wants me to accomplish. When I am done being of use to God, God will call me home.

If God wanted me home, it wouldn’t take much for me to be with him in an instant. I am literally one heart beat away from being in God’s presence.

Every day I wake up, I thank God for another day I shouldn’t have had. Every day is a gift.

Now here’s the take away for you: you don’t need chronic heart disease to realize that every day is a gift from God. You may not have chronic heart disease or cancer. But, if God wanted you home, there’s nothing you could do to prevent that. The only reason why you are still here is because God still has things for you to do.

So, thank God for this day. And, now, go and do what you were created to do for the kingdom of Jesus Christ!

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing (Romans 7:15-19).

This is one passage I have no problem practicing. I am an expert practitioner of these verses…and it’s exhausting!!!

I long for a day when I will be free from the pull of the flesh. I long for a day when I will fully be who I am in Christ.

Until that day, I will continue to wrestle. I will continue to battle. I am okay with that…until that day, when Christ shall return and set me free.

Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 8:24).